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.:: life flows on and on ::.

-don't go against it-

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i just want you for my own
rainbow, organized
effluency
Ah, it would appear that happily being home has gone on for long enough.

I suppose it's about that time. My sister can really only take about a week of me at a time before she begins to become upset that my presence happens to be here in Toledo instead of in Columbus.

I can't decide who's more selfish: her for wanting me gone, or me for wanting to stay. If we weren't planning to go to Buffalo for New Year's, I would half GLADLY go back to Columbus for the end of the year! Hell, I have a lot of friends that would love to see me down there rather than an awkward tension with my family.

But I am a firm believer of family first, no matter what. And so I will not do that, no matter how much fun it would be, because going to Buffalo to see family is pretty much more important to me than anything else.

Still, I suppose it's frustrating. And sad in some ways. I don't know how I can become a better person for her not to dislike me. My instinctive urge to make myself more "perfect" is to study study study and be a perfect student, but that really won't help matters. I suppose I could spend the days holed up in my room where she doesn't have to see me, but that's not fair to the rest of the family who does.

Now that I mention it though, SHE stays upstairs all of the time. And it's not just because I'm here! That's normal for her...

Ugh. I just don't know what to do. The high road is so, so hard sometimes...

さー、気軽く出身に住んでるのがもう終わっちゃったらしいな。

うん、そういう時間になったべきでしょう。私がコロンバスにいなくてトレドにいるのが大丈夫ってさ、妹はやっぱり一週間位だけだよ、そんな感じ。

私がコロンバスに帰ってほしいって妹かここに残りたいって私、誰がもっとワガママか分かんない。お正月のためにバッファローに行くことにならなければ、嬉しくコロンバスに帰るよ!この照れる感じが嫌だし、私がいるといいなっていう友達がいるわ。

でも、家族は一番大切な事だというのを絶対に信じてる。だから楽しくても、コロンバスに帰るってしないよ。家族と会う訳でバッファローに行くのが最も一番大切な事だよ。

まぁ、でも、面倒くさいだね。悲しいもね。妹は私のことが好きっていうようにもっと良い人間になる方が分からない。本能は勉強、勉強、勉強だけど、それって無理だもん。部屋に残っちゃって妹と会わない方がいいかもが、他の家族と会いたいね。

だけど、そういえば、妹はいつも部屋にいるんだ。私がいる訳にはいかないでしょう!それって普通。

うーん、どうすればいいのか分かんないー。難しいー。