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.:: life flows on and on ::.

-don't go against it-

isn't it ironic
rainbow, organized
effluency
"Do you... do you think that things happen for a reason?"
"No. No, I absolutely don't. I think that people look back on things and find reasons."

Well, maybe that's what I'm doing.

Sometimes you do your best, but it isn't always a good thing. Sometimes you do your best, but you're doing it in the wrong direction, or you're doing TOO much your best.

Sometimes, you start out with the right intentions but it doesn't work out that way.

Sometimes, you start out with the right intentions, shit happens along the way, and the outcome is as you would have wanted it in the first place, except that you're not sure that's what you want anymore.

And sometimes, the "what you want" part doesn't even matter because it wasn't yours to want at all.

So, maybe because I need to look back on things and find reasons, I decided to mourn our friendship by buying my first pack of cigarettes. Well, not my first. The first time I've bought a pack of cigarettes with my own money with the intention to smoke them. Ironically, the first time I bought a pack of cigarettes with my own money at all was to give them to you not even two days ago, when I thought things might be okay.

I like timing. And symbolism. And finding reasons. Maybe it's a good thing this happened on a Sunday. The world can start over now, because that's what Mondays are for.