I love my viola.

I have simply fallen in love with music this year, more than before. I finally feel like a real musician.

On a semi-unrelated note, I also love playing second violin. Or maybe I just love the fact that after only three months of playing said violin I've mastered Handel's Hallelujah chorus better than the second violins who played since fifth grade ever did. /pride

That is more or less all. Gotta be up early for the holiday parade tomorrow but right now I feel like staying up and writing scholarship essays.

I need to stop waiting so long between posts!

But this week was gooood. A short week, but a lot happened...

The Pops Concert was Monday and I have heard that we outdid ourselves, to which I simply beam. I love playing with TYO. Part of me used to hate it, but I've come to terms with the people and gotten over the part of me that was so willing to lash out against whiny rich kids, so it's good!

Tuesday was Student Council, whatever... oh! And I turned in my Findlay application, finally. Sensei wrote me the sweetest recommendation ever. The first sentence was "Rosaria Tirone is THE best student that I have ever had." and I cried.

Wednesday was good goooood. Mrs. Pitney did her part for my Morrill Scholarship application and I sent Mr. Oliver the form to be a recommended as well but he hasn't started yet (I'm getting a little nervous...). I turned in my BG application so we're good!

Thanksgiving was of course excellent. We had a family UNO game that Mom lost (though Nell managed to hang on by a slim 7 points!) and Dad won, the latter of which is perfectly normal. Draco acted funny for a litle bit... he wasn't eating and wasn't pooping but then he was okay after dinner. We worried because his V-mon toy apparently had beads and apparently he ripped it open sometime Wednesday. Salvina and I got the bag of beads out of it (I didn't want to take his toy... he sleeps with it and he really is still a baby) and put it back but we were afraid he ate one. If he did, he finally passed it, so that's good!

Todaaaay, off to help Service Corps. do the Holiday Parade downtown. Refusing to listen to Christmas music until December 1st, but this year it'll be harder than it seems! Tonight we're helping decorate the church for Christmas and it's not December 1st! Augh!

Dear Nell,

No, I'm not staying on the computer because I want to keep you off it, though if I do give in to exhaustion and go to bed, you certainly will and then I'll have to deal with your bitchiness in the morning.

This is simply another part of being the oldest sibling. So quit fucking nagging me and go to bed so I can.

You see, unlike you, I did shit today. I cleaned two bathrooms, a rabbit cage, dealt with you and Salvina fighting over who had to do bird poop and then the accusation that I never do bird poop, walked to the library, did four hours of homework there, and potentially caught a real cold as opposed to weather-induced sinuses.

I do bathrooms because Salvina can be a bit of a brat about cleaning and Nell allegedly gets sick from bleach. So do I, but whatever. She apparently also gets sick from picking up bird-poop. Well fucking good for you, but you can't vacuum every time. I can do bathrooms every time because it's more work than fucking moving a machine around or wiping a cloth over the back of the couch, and furthermore, I do it well. I clean well in general but a clean bathroom is really important and I don't quite trust your laziness.

Exhausted vent post is exhausted. Sorry 'bout that; I think I'm just gonna say FUCK IT and go to bed and attempt to fall asleep without sneezing every two minutes.

Blah. Don't mind me.

Oh hi everyonnnnne!!!

It's been... um. Nearly a week, huh? I just get in a funk where I'm like "TOO. LAZY. TO TYPE. JOURNAL POST." and that's basically what happened.

Um. Last weekend? Oh, Sunday. Ended up hanging out with Eric and An'h, except he was like four hours late, but whatever.

School week? Seemed really fast!! Uhhh... I don't even know. Japanese Club yesterday? It was good, I guess.

Today I stayed home sick; the change in weather has finally caught up with my sinuses!

ALSO, I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING ACCEPTED INTO OSU!! I got my OSU ID last night which basically means they have my application and are evaluating it, but in the meantime I can start filling out university-wide scholarships.

Altogether, I needed this day off!

Wow, I've had NO TIME since posting that on Tuesday.

Quick recap.

Most joyous event of the week (other than Manda coming over, which is the most short-term joyous thing hands down!): I CAN GO TO JAPAN. I can pay for it with scholarship money!! On Tuesday, I was up in Sensei's room during my student aid since Mrs. Pitney had a loooooong conference, and I was talking to him about his trip in Japan and he goes "Yeah, and I talked to FedEx Japan, so we'll get to tour that and do such and such" (I kind of... went clammy when he mentioned it. You see, I've been coping with like, the biggest disappointment in the last four years steadily and pretty well for the last month or so, so I was kind of like DON'T BRING THIS UP DON'T DO IT*) so I had to tell him that I probably couldn't go.

...He looked so disappointed. Like, I felt bad. BUT! It got me thinking. And I thought and thought and thought and came to a conclusion! And I'm confident it'll work out!!

So that was excellent!!!

Also, my English grade is an A now! (It was a B and I was seriously considering dropping it at the semester; the class isn't hard and I love Mr. Phillips. Just not his grading scale. Or my classmates. I can't afford a 3.0 B for my last semester. I can't! I'll go from 4 to 40, it's so close right now!**) Mr. Phillips forgot to add in the grade of a composition, and it didn't make a difference in anyone else's grade, but since I was borderline, it all worked out!

S'bout it. Potentially chilling with Eric and An'h together. I have a TON of homework, so I'm kind of like... going and doing it there. Which is Debbie Downer of me, but... school > babysitting Nell. Sorry.

That's about it. Manda came over today and we had food and hopefully cheered HER up after a stressful week! Everyone, enjoy the rest of your weekend!

<sub>*This sounds petty. And... spoiled. But, to me, at this time, that trip is... very important to. Staying in a Japanese home and experiencing culture first-hand and immersion first-hand is so important for what I want to go into.

**I'm a fickle brat about my grades. I really am. I wouldn't be earlier in high school, but at this point I have potential to be either third or salutatorian depending on honors credits. Most of us top-seniors got screwed out of our 5.0's by schedule conflict; my schedule's fucked up, but I'm still at 6 honors classes this year!</sub>

Guys... Guys... I... I can't believe it...

I GOT A 31 ON THE ACT!!!!!! I JUMPED 30 ENTIRELY!!!! HONORS PROGRAM, HERE I COME!!!!

Now, I say that I can't believe it (and I can't!)

But guys... this is the first time I've really, really felt like I worked for something on my own and got it on my own merits. Even in school, I've just been in the right place at the right time. (Buffalo's primary school education system is a little faster than Toledo's. When I moved here, I was at least a year ahead of my class in math and at least two ahead of them in reading, which was my best subject and still is if that 36 counts for anything!. Junior high was a joke. High School, I've just studied every inch of my text books for three years. Freshman year was kind of a joke, too.)

I'm so... proud isn't the word.

Joyful, I guess.

Wow, I haven't updated in like... forever.

That situation from before is all good and sorted out; Nell and I had a talk and now it's all good and we're back to petty bantering and poking fun at each other again! Chances are, another blow-up will happen. We're total opposites so it's inevitable, but family is family no matter what!

Hm... Regionals went well. Shortest concert ever 'cause the songs were so fast, but whatever. Found out we actually have drama in the viola section, but I'm willing to believe that my darling friend is just more full of herself than necessary as opposed to our dedicated, junior in high school but sophomore in college section leader being a player who wants to get into her pants.

... I mean, it's possible!!

...But... I don't know. I simply don't see it and I usually have quite the intuition for these things!

That's about it from my front. I've had an excellent week so far so I hope everyone else has a good week! I'm gonna go play with my bunny~

Well.

That simply didn't work out the way I had hoped it would.

You're not gonna see much of me around for a while, guys.

I'm not speaking to my sister and therefore cannot ask her to get on the computer. It's a luxury I can live without and I need to make my point loud and fucking clear. Metaphorically.

( God, this got long. )

I SURFACE FROM THE... WELL, I DON'T KNOW! SEA OF TRANSLATION!? INTERPRETATION, TECHNICALLY.

ACT went well, I guess. I finished the math section this time, so... my chances are maximized!!!

Then we picked up the girls, Azumi and Sakura. They were the sweetest things! Saturday we didn't do too much, just sort of hung out. I figured out pretty quickly that they functioned like this:

Rosie: Do you want to _______?
Sakura: Mmmmmm... *looks so Azumi* What should we do?
Azumi: Anything's fine.
Sakura: Mmmmm........ *makes decision*

Every time! Especially when we went to the mall on Sunday! They actually bought quite a bit there, which is unusual. Usually they like to go see the mall but find it too expensive. Maybe they're not as frugal, being younger and less responsible? I don't know. It was a good time.

Monday I went to school. ...Somehow. I didn't sleep due to massive homework build up. The girls met the mayor and went to the zoo and generally had a fun time around Toledo. Then we went to Wall Mart to finish up their shopping.

Tuesday we dropped them off at Byrnedale (MY BABIES!!!!) and I was frightened for them, but they said later it was a good time and they were only a little afraid when Salvina decided to take them into the hall while classes were switching. (Those kids are like animals!!)

The banquet was... bittersweet. Very bittersweet. The whole group of kids did a barely intelligible presentation via Powerpoint about Toyohashi in English. Then they danced (The same dance they did when they came when I was at Byrnedale! It must be the same one every year. It was so cool!!) and they taught us a dance and we got to learn calligraphy... And then the crying and the goodbyes and... and it was so sad!!

Also, one of the women from IYA was there and SHE REMEMBERED ME!!! I considered doing it again last summer and told her I eventually decided not to because I had hoped and hoped and hoped to get a job (which is true) but.... well, really, it was mostly because I was still very ashamed at the position Alex had put us in that summer. To know when she told me, all those months ago, to definitely apply for diplomat-ship and meant it makes me feel a little bad because I can't do it this summer (too old) but I learned a good lesson from it!

Back to normal life, I suppose. And by normal I mean BOMBARDED WITH LIFE!!!!

I'm going to school now.

So the rest of the week was kind of blah. In many ways it downright sucked.

Some highlights. Or lowlights, I guess.

Good:

Japanese Club
Choir Concert
FINALLY FINISHED SEASON FOUR OF HOUSE GOD DAMN
B+ possible A- in Calculus

Bad:

Due to a certain two textaholics (COUGHFAITHANDJORDANCOUGH) I am very much out of texts until the 14th. Don't text me until then. This leads me to...
Jordan doesn't fucking do anything but text her sister anymore. I've always found it obnoxious and rude when you're hanging out with someone who texts someone else the entire time.
I think I'm getting sick.
Nell needs to learn that blood is thicker than anything.
College stuff is getting stressful.
Potential B in English due to Mr. Phillips' WHACKED OUT grading system.
BLAH.
I cleaned both bathrooms today like, completely, and it's making me really woozy.

Optimism:

Kids are coming tomorrow!!!
I'M GONNA GET A THIRTY ON MY GOD DAMN ACT, I SWEAR IT!!
And if I don't, then it was simply not meant to be.

Shadowing Manda was fun times!! Whoo college life! Adult swim, coffee, little sleep, and balls-on-the-brain professors! I have a lot to look forward to, I guess!

Tonight was Bowsher's concert. Sounded... okay from where I was sitting, I guess. I am vaguely annoyed that no one follows the damn dress code. LONG SLEEVE BLACK SHIRT. No white undershirt. No colored decoration. No gray. Preferably with a collar of some kind. BLACK PANTS OR FLOOR-LENGTH SKIRT. Black shoes.

...It's not really that hard. The freshman were perfectly fine; it was the people who have been in orchestra for years and have no excuse to by now not have at least SOMETHING that fits that that I shake my head at. Bah!

Also, Nell's friend Kara has become my new favorite of her friends. She boldly directly asked Mommy if Nell could come to Young Life (vaguely religious general social group... it's not really either of our thing, the religious part, but all of Nell's friends are there except, of course, Eric. It's like 99.9% social.) and Nell was pissed but I was impressed.

Gonna finish up Digimon season 3, chill out with some Harry Potter fanfiction, and vegetate the night away!

TYO concert went well!

The Sinfonietta played some good stuff, and they sounded pretty good! Very exciting. Even better, I'M DONE WITH THE MOLDAU WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

In other news, VERY MUCH almost caught up with House. ...Ish. ...I'm almost done with season 4. (With only slight annoyance, I could be done with it sooner if Jordan didn't INSIST on watching the last two episodes of it with me). Been Sims-ing like a fiend, also.

Going to BG to follow around Manda and generally experience college life! Not technically until Tuesday (no school whoooo) but I'm leaving tomorrow night after TYO, so.

Also some vague internal conflict. I'm in the middle of shedding a bright and shiny dream that has become tarnished with financial disabilities in the last few months or so. If I'm more altruistic than normal, that's why. If I'm more cynical than normal, that's also why. It depends on how I'm looking at the situation. (I go from "Okay. I can give this up." to "WHYYYYYY?!?!!" in about ten seconds.)

HAPPY SATURDAY, ALL!!

My week until Friday, as posted in quotes by my family and others:

Dad: I can't wait to go to work tomorrow.
Nell: Is that sarcasm?
Dad: No. We're making some kind of training video, but the idiots don't know what they're talking about. When the real people come in tomorrow, they're in for some kind of surprise.
Rosie: So wait, you're gonna be on a DVD?!?
Dad: Hell no!! If I did that, 20 years from now I'd find myself in some kind of porno!

Ms. Sgro: Brrr!! It's cold out here!! I need to get the insulating strip for the bottom of the door...
Mrs. Liu: You right, you right!! Too cold for October! Feel like December, eh?
Rosie: I'm always cold.
Mrs. Liu: Oh, me too! My neighbor, he wear no sleeve even when... ah, what you say? Mowing snow? Never mind, me... even in summer... I wear long sleeve!! People think I heroin addict or something.
Michael: *JAW DROP IN ABJECT HORROR*

Dr. Thompson: All right. Concentrate, guys. No mental errors. *conducts*
*About thirty seconds later during the Grand Pause*
*RING RING RING RING (GENERIC RING TONE)*
TYO: *nervous laughter*
Dr. Thompson: *SUPER SERIOUS FACE* ... All right. That's it. I'm starting a collection to buy this kid a new ringtone.

Weekend's been excellent so far. Was at Jordan's last night! Went to Domo's (which used to be Fujiyama). Despite the MASSIVE SHRINKING of their menu, they ADDED chirashizushi, which I got, which was pretty good except it... wasn't what I expected? (Chirashizushi is basically sushi in a bowl. A layer of sushi rice topped by sashimi and veggies. This was like a huge-ass salad with sashimi in it and a bowl of plain rice on the side, served with a Korean sauce that tasted FAR too strongly of cooking sherry for my tastes).

ALSO going to Chainsaw Creek (collection of 4 separate haunted houses at the mall) with Jordan, Dylan, and James tonight. Nell might come. The two of us generally want to be scared shitless around Halloween. ...Dylan + James = terrible combo if you want anything else.

S'bout it. I'll go do homework... mmm... eventually.

So I didn't really think I was ever bullied in my life. And by life I mean high school career.

Junior high, yes. That's when I was sort of becoming more public about my sexuality and I caught some shit about it, but I don't know, I think I sort of let it slide off of me. It was the kind of bullying I was prepared for.

Freshman year, maybe a little for the same reasons. That time I had some pride about the matter, being in a lesbian relationship.

But now... I don't know.

Today was the Service Corps. meeting and Chelsi wasn't there because she had to work. That meant that I had to do all the talking. Which, I mean... is okay, I guess. I'm not an assertive or loud person, and when the group is interested I'm good with presentations, because they want to know what I'm saying. Like Japanese Club, on occasion. I like leading that group.

Service Corps is also usually fine. But... there's this one kid who's sort of lingeringly harassed me since junior high. I think he's obnoxious and immature and he knows it, but we remain civil to each other. The thing is that I don't bash him behind his back and he... well, he bashes everyone behind their backs.

And it's not like I'm even doing anything wrong. Except maybe being too responsible and... I don't know, more reserved than Chelsi? Or most of Service Corps?

Blah, it made me... self-conscious. I don't get that way about things like this anymore!!

Otherwise, today was excellent!

Wow, guys. I feel totally blown away by the anger on this f-list!! (And actually it was like two posts between tonight and... uh... Friday morning or last week, but if I was a small cartoon and my computer was a window, I would've smacked against the wall like a fly from the angry breathing!!)

ANYWAYS.

I had a superb weekend! Saturday Jordan was here until about noon. We helped Mom make this obnoxiously complex/rich French toast from Tyler's Ultimate that was JEEEEEESUUUSSSSS!!!!!!
Annnnd we watched a lot of House, of course! I'm more than half way done with season three. ...On Friday morning I was, um, on episode four of season three.

If I may say so myself, in a strange superficial kind of way, maybe not on my part, maybe on my part, it's easier to catch Faith and Jordan's attention when we're digging the same thing atm. It's been a few years since that's happened.

Sunday was the Equality Toledo meeting which was consequently on Coming Out Day, which has thankfully become a null holiday for me personally. The meeting was great!! I got an award for being a GSA leader in Toledo's high schools and a t-shirt to show for it! The speaker was cool, if a little bitter, and one of her power point slides that basically claims your real family is a bitch but your chosen family is great both Mom and I STRONGLY disagree with, but this is a woman who was indeed kicked out and who quite obviously doesn't really want to go back to that point in her life.

And today... guys, this is the best part.

I. HAVE. NO. HOMEWORK.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!

However I will churn out some essays. One for Findlay's app and one for a scholarship. Productive productive!!

GUYS I've gotten... um... 10 hours of sleep in three days.

DON'T MIND ME. I'M GONNA BE LOOPY. Crap I'm never gonna be able to stay up for House-fest tonight with Jordan. ...Coffee. Lots of it.

Japanese Club yesterday! We've officially moved on to our big-group project: singing! We're starting with a cute little song vaguely reminiscent of Halloween, Gegege no Kitarou (ゲゲゲの鬼太郎) which is the theme song to an anime Sensei watched when he was a kid.

AFTER THIS WE'RE SINGING OYOGE, TAIYAKI-KUN. I. AM. SO. EXCITED. I've been pushing for this for the better part of a year lmfao. I love that song!!

College Night was also last night, and I had all intentions of staying at school for the half-hour gap between Japanese Club and the time people could show up to help set-up and eat a frozen lasagna*, BUT, Jojo invited Jordan and I out to dinner! So we got pizza at Capers and I did NOT help set up, instead actually... going to a function. Instead of planning it.

...Yeah, it was weird.

GREAT NEWS!! THE SCHOLARSHIP I THOGUHT I WAS ELIGIBLE FOR AND THEN THOUGHT I WASN'T I REALLY AM!!!!!! The Morrill Scholarship is a diversity scholarship but is commonly misinterpreted as a minority scholarship. So I thought I was eligible because I meet every requirement except being non-white (the application had no "other" option and I was sad), but Mr. Mercurio told me I WASN'T, so I didn't sign up for the information meeting at school... BUT I AM! So I missed the meeting, but of course I can still apply.

This is a big-deal scholarship, btw. This is like, full tuition/room and board for three years (12 quarters) PLUS book allowance. Yeah.

FRIDAY!!!! THANK FUCKING GOD!!!!!!

Jordan's coming oveerrrrrrr. Gonna watch Hooooouse... I am so behind!

Have an excellent day, everyone.

_{*I feel the urge to point out, unnecessarily, that we never buy frozen foods! When Mom had her surgery, we didn't say no to offers of "I'll bring you a dinner!" and someone gave us frozen lasagna. They actually considered me (which I thought was nice and unnecessary, because I wasn't even at home for dinner that day) and bought me a single-serving veggie lasagna. This is my lunch today, if Sensei hasn't hijacked it from his freezer.}

Dear Rosie,

Stop falling asleep on your desk.

This is a bad habit.

Love, Rosie

P.S. Yeah, those AP chapters aren't like the other book, are they? THOSE ones took about 10 minutes to read. These ones take three hours. Lesson learned.

This was going to be an angry post.

Now it's just a hurt post.

Fuck you, Nell. Fuck you and your selfishness and your lack of understanding towards ANYTHING that isn't in your little world.

And watch your fucking mouth. Watch it good.

This really is more hurt than angry. I WAS angry. Now I kind of feel like crying.

This LJ post title is due to a short miracle:

I had heard the song Nagareboshi by HOME MADE KAZOKU before and loved it but didn't know what it was called, just the tune.

I HAVE UNKNOWINGLY DOWNLOADED IT!!!

So among amazing things today:

I broke in my flats!
I CAN WALK ON MY KNEE AGAIN!
SAM CAME OVER!!!!!

GOOD DAY.

Also, I've been playing too much Sonic for my own good. Video game opportunity + comfy reclining chair = Entertained Rosie!